The One Where I Summarize Disney Movies with No Clue
I grew up without watching Disney movies. I didn't feel deprived by this, but apparently I didn't know what I was missing and it's not a real childhood if you haven't seen any of them. I've been realizing that I only have vague ideas of what the stories are actually about. Here are a few summaries of Disney movies by a person who hasn't actually seen them:
Aladdin
Boy who wears linen pants and a vest, but no shirt flies about on a rug. There is a blue genie who comes out of an oil bottle at times and I think he is evil. There is a girl with a long braid down her back who dances. I don't know how she is involved in the story. She probably falls in love with vest boy.
(Update: I have watched the live action Aladdin that came out this year. Lots of singing. Genie is not evil and the only character I liked.)
Lion King
A baby lion is born. A crowd gathers as Father lion holds him up on a mountain and sings a tribal song. I think they are happy. Possibly someone gets lost. I feel like some mean lion double crosses some other lion.
Bambi
Baby deer is happy with Mother deer. Lots of green and sunshine. A gun shot sounds in the forest and then there was one.
Little Mermaid
A girl with red hair and a clamshell bra has a tail instead of legs. She wants legs. Not sure if she gets them or not. Probably not. I don't know if there is a male version of a mermaid, but isn't there usually a hero in these movies?
Pocahontas
American Indian girl rescues a man from fire death and then falls in love with a man named John Smith. In history it was not the same man. It might be in the movie though.
Peter Pan
The boy is either green or dresses in all green. Possibly he wears plants. Is there peanut butter involved? I always think of peanut butter. I'm not sure what green boy's story is. Maybe he plants things? Does he sing about Neverland? Is he lost?
101 Dalmations
There are dogs with spots and they meet at a park and fall in love. They must love each other very much because suddenly there are lots of little spotted puppies. Perhaps 101 of them? I think the dog owners fall in love while eating spaghetti. There is an evil woman who wears fur and has a cool white streak in her hair. She kidnaps at least one puppy. There is a daring rescue. It's a happy ending, but I don't know what happens to fur woman.
Aladdin
Boy who wears linen pants and a vest, but no shirt flies about on a rug. There is a blue genie who comes out of an oil bottle at times and I think he is evil. There is a girl with a long braid down her back who dances. I don't know how she is involved in the story. She probably falls in love with vest boy.
(Update: I have watched the live action Aladdin that came out this year. Lots of singing. Genie is not evil and the only character I liked.)
Lion King
A baby lion is born. A crowd gathers as Father lion holds him up on a mountain and sings a tribal song. I think they are happy. Possibly someone gets lost. I feel like some mean lion double crosses some other lion.
Bambi
Baby deer is happy with Mother deer. Lots of green and sunshine. A gun shot sounds in the forest and then there was one.
Little Mermaid
A girl with red hair and a clamshell bra has a tail instead of legs. She wants legs. Not sure if she gets them or not. Probably not. I don't know if there is a male version of a mermaid, but isn't there usually a hero in these movies?
Pocahontas
American Indian girl rescues a man from fire death and then falls in love with a man named John Smith. In history it was not the same man. It might be in the movie though.
Peter Pan
The boy is either green or dresses in all green. Possibly he wears plants. Is there peanut butter involved? I always think of peanut butter. I'm not sure what green boy's story is. Maybe he plants things? Does he sing about Neverland? Is he lost?
101 Dalmations
There are dogs with spots and they meet at a park and fall in love. They must love each other very much because suddenly there are lots of little spotted puppies. Perhaps 101 of them? I think the dog owners fall in love while eating spaghetti. There is an evil woman who wears fur and has a cool white streak in her hair. She kidnaps at least one puppy. There is a daring rescue. It's a happy ending, but I don't know what happens to fur woman.
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