The One Where I Catch Up


There are days when I deeply regret moving away from all things familiar. True, the roads are beginning to make sense and I can get myself to various places without pulling up my Maps. I've discovered the amazing thrift stores in our neighborhood. We have a favorite sushi place that we frequent when we are feeling especially down. We even have people here that we love and who quite nicely put up with us. 

But do we really belong here? 

I had no idea how important it is for me to feel as if I belong in a place. Where I am known and recognized and NEEDED. 

To be the one who needs people more than they need you is a very vulnerable place to be in. 

The past year felt like a fog that we were barely surviving in. Fighting for breath. Fighting to keep going. If it wasn't for B, I doubt how sane I would be at this point. He really was a rock. Is a rock. 

Nothing prepared me for how lonely I would be in a new place. I still, up to the this point, do not have a full time job. I've tried a few things, but none were a great fit. I'm currently nannying. I still only have kids to talk to throughout the day, but it does help with money worries and it keeps my days from being completely empty. 

I miss the sunshine of Florida. I miss the comfort of family within minutes from my house. I miss feeling as if I had a purpose in life.




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